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The absolute key to a great chat is to be genuinely interested in the other person and actively listen to them. Tailor your approach to the context and the person you're engaging with, and be prepared to be vulnerable and share a bit about yourself as well to create a balanced and real connection.
Starting a great conversation can set the tone for awesome connection.
Pose questions that require more than a simple "yes" or "no" answer. This encourages the other person to share their thoughts, experiences, stories and opinions. For example, instead of asking, "Did you have a good weekend?" you could ask, "What did you do over the weekend that you really enjoyed?"
A sincere compliment can immediately put the other person at ease and create a positive atmosphere. Make sure the compliment is authentic and related to something you genuinely appreciate about them. For instance, you might say, "I really admire how well you handled that project last week. Your attention to detail was impressive."
Start by commenting on something happening in your surroundings or a shared experience. This can serve as a common point of interest and help break the ice. For example, if you're sitting on a Chatterbox, you could say “Isn’t this view pretty fantastic…what do you reckon?”
Sharing a short personal story or experience can create a relatable connection. It shows empathy, vulnerability and encourages the other person to open up as well. For instance, if you're discussing a challenging situation, you could say, "I remember feeling that same way, I know our situations are different, but what I found helpful was…." But make sure to keep the balance right, there’s nothing worse than hearing “oh yeah, you think you’ve got it bad, what about me”
Inquire about their hobbies, passions, or recent experiences. When people talk about something they're enthusiastic about, the conversation tends to flow more naturally. For instance if you know they love tramping "What are the next top 5 tramps you’re keen to do?”
Keeping a conversation flowing requires active engagement, good listening skills, and an ability to read to the other person's cues. Here are some ways that could help you maintain a smooth and engaging chat:
Active Listening: Pay close attention to what the other person is saying to you and also how they’re saying it - their body language, tone, eye contact. This means not only hearing their words but also ensuring you understanding their meaning and emotions. Responding authentically to their points and how they react shows that you're genuinely interested in what they are saying.
Ask Follow-Up Questions: When the other person shares something with you, ask them related questions to dive deeper into the topic if it feels like you can. This demonstrates your interest and encourages them to elaborate further with you.
Reflective Statements: Summarise or re-phrase what the other person has said as this will ensure you’re keeping track of their point and show you're actively listening to them. This also provides them with a chance to explain what they mean if you’re not on the right track.
Share Your Own Experiences: Offering relevant personal experiences can help foster a sense of connection with the person you’re talking to. However, make sure to balance sharing about yourself with giving the other person space to talk.
Express Empathy and Validation: Acknowledge the other person's emotions by authentically letting them know you understand that it must have been tough, or you understand it would have felt awful. Validating what they’re explaining is a great way for you to connect more, and also they feel understood and that you’ve heard them.
Stay Present: Avoid distractions like checking your phone or looking around while the other person is speaking. Give them your full attention to show respect for their thoughts and feelings. Find a place, like a Chatterbox seat, where you can be fully present in the chat.
Transitions and Bridges: If the conversation seems to be slowing down, smoothly transition to a related topic. Look for common ground or points of interest that can serve as bridges between different subjects.
Body Language: Your body language can convey interest and engagement so it’s important to maintain eye contact, nod to show you're listening, and use open and welcoming gestures.
Use Humour: This is our fav! Appropriately injecting humour into the conversation can lighten the mood and create a positive atmosphere. Just be mindful of the context and the other person's preferences, but often it’s just the thing needed.
Respect Silence: Don't be afraid of pauses or moments of silence. They can allow both you and the other person to gather your thoughts and contribute meaningfully.
Ask for Opinions: Encourage the other person to share their thoughts on certain topics or situations with you. This opens the door for deeper discussions and provides opportunities for them to express their perspectives.
Be Curious: Approach the conversation with a genuine curiosity about the other person's experiences, opinions, and viewpoints. This mindset can naturally lead to more engaging discussions and it’s amazing what you learn from those who you least expect it.
Remember that a chat is a two-way street. It's important to contribute your thoughts while also giving the other person plenty of opportunity to express themselves. By practicing active listening, showing genuine interest, and adapting to the flow of the conversation, you can have enjoyable and meaningful conversations.
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